Tell us about yourself.:
Like my protagonist, Rectum Leviticus, I prefer to maintain an air of mystery. Let's just say I'm a keen observer of life's absurdities. I spend my days ruminating on the meaninglessness of existence and hone my auto-amusement skills.

Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?:
I prefer to keep my place of origin anonymous; however, it's important to note that every place that I have lived has it's own story of people and idiosyncrasies, and I have been contemplating these for many years to uncover common threads.

Do you have any unusual writing habits?
I write most of my best material while surrounded by plastic statues wearing tiny philosopher costumes—Marx, Nietzsche, Camus. They're quite the focus group. I also insist on using a keyboard with all the vowels removed. It forces me to be more creative. True confession: I'm completely making this up. I'm a streaky writer and am in a slump at the moment.

What authors have influenced you?
I prefer to keep my place of origin anonymous; however, it's important to note that every place that I have lived has it's own story of people and idiosyncrasies, and I have been contemplating these for many years to uncover common threads.

Do you have any advice for new authors?
Write something terrible. Make it spectacularly, magnificently awful. Then do the exact opposite. Or don't. The beauty of being a new author is that you can ignore every piece of advice you're given, including this one.

What is the best advice you have ever been given?
The best advice I ever received was "Stop taking advice." Though I suppose by sharing this, I'm giving advice about not taking advice, which perfectly captures the paradoxical nature of existence, doesn't it?"

What are you reading now?
Currently alternating between the ingredient lists on cereal boxes and a rare first edition of "How to Pretend You're Reading Something Impressive During Author Interviews," but I'm only on the first chapter.

What’s your biggest weakness?
I'm physically incapable of walking past a bookstore without going in and reorganizing their self-help section according to levels of delusion.

What is your favorite book of all time?
That's like asking me to pick my favorite existential crisis. But if pressed, I'd say the phone book. It's a masterpiece of nihilistic literature—thousands of characters, none of them developed, all equally meaningless. Plus, it's getting rarer by the day, much like common sense. Though I suppose I should mention something more literary… let's go with Kafka's 'The Metamorphosis.' Any book that starts with a man turning into a giant bug clearly understands the human condition.

When you’re not writing, how do you like to spend your time?
I spend my days observing the peculiar rituals of modern life from park benches and subway platforms. Sometimes I teach philosophy to pigeons. I like to practice the art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing. It's a skill I've nearly perfected.

Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
Not exactly, but I think it might have been "See Spot Run" which had something to do with fictional characters Dick and Jane. I was drawn to the stereotypes portrayed and how they attempted to indoctrinate impressionable young minds. You know, Socrates was condemned for corrupting youth. I wonder what happened to the author of "Fun with Dick and Jane?"

What has inspired you and your writing style?
I'd say my style was inspired by the absurdist theater that is modern life, performed daily within homes, offices, the streets, and entertainment venues throughout society.

What are you working on now?
I'm writing a self-help book for people who hate self-help books. It's called "Stop Reading This Book: Get Some Real Help From People Who Know What They Are Doing.

What is your favorite method for promoting your work?
I have no particular favorite method. Lately I've been standing naked at busy intersections wearing only a sandwich board. I am closely monitoring sales.

What’s next for you as a writer?
I am hoping to help with the screen adaptation of this work. However, after reading the self-help book I previously mentioned, I might need to see a psychotherapist. Then again, since a screen adaptation is fantasy, perhaps I will try to write in that genre.

How well do you work under pressure?
I ignore pressure as the product of a confused mind. The crushing weight of deadlines and multiple competing priorities is just society's way of reminding us we're all ultimately powerless against time's relentless march forward.

How do you decide what tone to use with a particular piece of writing?
I let the existential meanderings of the moment guide me. If I'm writing before my morning coffee, expect Kafka-esque despair. After coffee, more of a Camus-style absurdist approach. By evening, when the dark German beer kicks in, we're in full Nietzsche territory. The real trick is matching society's madness with just the right level of commentary.

If you could share one thing with your fans, what would that be?
Life is too serious to take seriously. I will add a suggestion that you both take what I write with a grain of salt and find the grains of truth.
Full disclosure: My answers during this interview are a collaboration with my AI assistant, but the book I wrote had no artificial intelligence inputs (and demonstrably little human intelligence either). If I have provoked a wry smile, my work here is done.

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